Fantastic small adaptable machine suitable for both male, female, single and couples play.
The Humpus is the smallest sex machine in existence and is for both male and female use. I don’t normally get that excited over new toys, but this I couldn’t wait to play with especially as it is a British invention.
It is packaged beautifully in a large white box. Upon opening the box the humpus is displayed in a black plastic mould with a clear plastic cover. Each section has its own area in the box.
You receive the humpus body, remote control, a silicone dildo and attachment clip, the silicone male ring attachment, a purple strap, charger, sachet of lubricant, warranty and owners guide.
Before you start, the Humpus needs charging for up to twelve hours. There is a control panel on the side of the Humpus there the charger plugs into. It charges via a UK plug socket and when fully charged the orange flashing light will turn to continuous green.
The Humpus will only work if first of all the switch on the Humpus body is in the ‘On’ position. You then need to use the small remote. It sits in the middle of the Humpus on top and can be removed as it is wireless with a range of up to three metres however it must be pointed directly at the Humpus when used. It features three buttons. The power on button and two buttons with + and – for increasing or decreasing the speed. The stroke length can be adjusted by the slider on the side of the Humpus body. When starting the Humpus ensure this slider is in position one of six.
When using the silicone dildo attachment you first need to place it in the white holder. You can place it high or low in the holder to create deep or shallow thrusts. When clipped into place you then need to attach it to the Humpus itself which I find quite tricky to both insert and unclip, especially with lubed fingers! Ensure that you clip the dildo the right way round (with the dildo facing downwards). I get this wrong all the time and incur a lot of swearing at trying to unclip it again so try and get it right first time!
The Humpus is designed to rest on or below your stomach. You can use it with or without the strap, however with the strap it really does become hands free. I would advise to put the strap in one side first, then lay down and attach the other strap into the other side. This is easy to do as it has velcro to secure it and is long enough to reach different sizes of waists. My waist is slim and there is enough velcro to accommodate this.
When I lay down my stomach dips in which creates an awkward angle for the Humpus so I have to either tilt it with my hand or place a small towel underneath it to correct it.
I find it easier to use the dildo on myself first before attaching it to the Humpus so I can work out the right angle of where I need it to be.
The Humpus has settings marked 1-6 for how much depth the dildo will thrust which ranges from 1.5 inches to 4 inches. For speed you have use of the remote control which sits in the centre of the Humpus but is removable so your partner can join in.
As it is basically a hands free fucking machine you can use your hands for other things which takes the distraction away from knowing that you are pleasuring yourself to being able to imagine more that it is someone else doing so.
Even on the lowest speed setting I found the Humpus to be rather fast however the curved dildo easily reaches my gspot. I cannot get off on g spot stimulation alone and the attachment clips get in the way of my fingers trying to get anywhere near my clit. I know the makers have taken this into consideration and will be creating a new attachment soon.
The dildo attachment can also be attached the opposite way to create a stroking sensation on your clit if that’s your thing and also can be used for anal although the angling is a little bit trickier. I still haven’t quite mastered this.
The male ring attachment I still find quite tricky to clip in/out. It should be placed in the Humpus facing upwards only. If you face it downwards, it will catch your testicles and it will hurt. Lesson learnt! The silicone feels very soft and is a good size to fit most penises as the silicone has plenty of room to stretch outwards, it is also very comfortable. The belt is big enough to comfortably fit around a man and if the man has a large stomach the Humpus can be propped up with a towel to correct the angle.
The Humpus functions between 80 – 180 stokes per minute. It has a rise and quick fall action which mimics the movement of masturbation by hand. Make sure you use a lot of water based lubricant with this!
As well as changing the speed you can change the stroke length of the Humpus. Starting at 4.5″ this can be increased up to 7.5″ which also helps for those larger bellies as the Humpus has further to stretch.
The noise of the Humpus can be quite distracting when in use, trying to get over the fact that it’s a machine getting you off takes a bit of getting used to.
Ever wanted to have oral and ‘sex’ at the same time? The Humpus can help you! Simply attach it as usual and have your partner straddle you or kneel while the Humpus does it’s thing. You can even give the remote to your partner to control the toy on you however you might need to explain your preferences first as I had a bit of a panic when the speed was increased too much!
As the dildo and ring attachment are made of silicone only use water based lubricant and clean with antibacterial spray and warm water on the attachments and wipe the Humpus itself carefully with a damp cloth if required then dry.
The Humpus is a fantastic machine for it’s size. It’s is fully adaptable to each users style and after a bit of getting used to makes a great addition in the bedroom. I look forward to seeing what new attachments will be available!