I got a male friend who’s into kinkier stuff than most to write this piece
So when the lovely owner of this blog requested I write something for her on spanking (she’s a bit kinky that one) I was stumped for a bit.
For many spanking, or any form of sado-masochism, is about as welcome as an invitation to give the Queen a vajazzling but for most there is at least a slight sense of curiosity on the subject (like what the queen getting a vajazzling actually looks like). It’s what makes us human (that is to say curiosity NOT vajazzling!)
So why the turn on for something that inherently causes pain to somebody you at the least want to be intimate with and at the most are in love with? What is it about an act that many of us experienced as a child when we’d misbehaved? (oh let’s not take the Freudian route here)
Is it its taboo reputation? A secret shared between people; whispered in dark corners of polite society? Well no. Not anymore anyway. Sex is (and quite rightfully) the cornerstone of the world we live in. People use it to flog bottles of perfume, or cars, or even raise awareness of veganism. It’s everywhere and that includes the harder stuff too; head off to the cinema right now and watch A Dangerous Method and you can see Michael Fassbender give Keira Knightley some very crimson cheeks. (two mentions of Freud in a few paragraphs, this cannot be a good thing!)
So S&M is hardly that much of a taboo anymore? Well I mean it is, having your gran find a whip or a full length PVC costume complete with apple gag might make for a particularly interesting conversation, but it’s no longer grounds for a social ostracizing.
Whilst common sense on this is outstripping redundant law the curiosity and the predilection still remain. So here’s what I think it’s all about: Power.
Generally (and yes there are lots of exceptions which is why it’s a generalization) people think power relationships are easy: guys enjoy being in control and girls enjoy being dominated. Now I’m struggling to think of a better demonstration of power than taking a girl over your knee and spanking her as unfortunately huge parades of tanks, missiles, and soldiers just don’t do it for most girls. (If only someone had told Joseph Stalin we might have avoided the Cold War)
But paradoxically a confident girl who likes to be in control is sexier than a Ferrari driven by 4 playboy bunnies dressed in money to those blessed with a Y chromosome. Which makes me think that women don’t want to be dominated; it’s deeper than that. Instead they allow themselves to be dominated and thus never resign control. They can always say stop or give instructions. So in essence you’re left with a girl who is full of sexual confidence, in complete control, and allowing the man to spank her. You could spank her over a sex pillow so that you can move straight in to position once the spanking is done. Other light kink stuff could be using anal beads if you’re up for something different.
Now isn’t that a sexy thought?
We might not all have a penchant for S&M but we all definitely have a fetish for power.