Masturbation can give you the freedom to explore your body and experience sexual pleasure without the need for a partner.
It can teach you things about your body you never knew and feel sexually liberated while learning new ways to respond to sexual stimulation. It’s quite normal for many women to only be capable of orgasming through masturbation. Yet a great portion of female society have negative views towards self stimulation.
The #1 masturbation tip for females
The way to achieve orgasm is all in your head… Wait, what? You’re probably thinking that I’ve gone crazy, the clitoris isn’t attached to your head! The reason it’s all in your head is because the #1 thing that’s stopping you is psychological, not physical. It really isn’t fair but for whatever reason, a lot of females have some sort of shame, some sort of guilt, some sort of fear when it comes to masturbation. Why, why, why? I understand female masturbation is still a bit of a taboo for many, but it shouldn’t be. Why shouldn’t you have the pleasure of pleasuring yourself? What could be more fun than orgasming? Why should you have to rely on someone else to provide you the greatest pleasure on earth? Think about that for a moment, why should you have to rely on someone else to provide you the greatest pleasure on earth? Why should you miss out on all the fun? Well ladies, time to step up and take things into your own hands (yes, pun intended)…
Steps to masturbation for beginners
So if it’s your brain that’s holding you back, what should you do?
- Think of masturbation time as “me” time. You deserve “me” time. You shouldn’t feel guilty.
- Make sure you’re in a relaxed state before you try. If you’re mind is racing at a million miles an hour thinking about work, kids, shopping, whatever, you probably won’t be in the right mood to start off with.
- Watch something or do something that turns you on. What works for many is erotic fiction. A great place to start is with http://remittancegirl.com. We all have triggers that turn us on. If you feel great after yoga, do some yoga and then have your “me” time. If Brad Pitt turns you on, watch a Brad Pitt movie. You don’t even have to watch the whole thing, just watch enough to get you in the mood.
- Give yourself half an hour where you won’t be interrupted. Turn off your phone etc.
- The aim of the masturbation is to not orgasm. WTF? If you’re focused on orgasming, you’ll put pressure on yourself. The aim is to spend those 30 minutes just exploring yourself and enjoying yourself. It’s about the journey, not the destination.
- Don’t just focus on your clitoris, explore your inner thighs, gently touch around the vagina etc.
- If you do the above steps and still need a bit of help to get over the line or want a bit of extra intensity or just want to experiment, use a vibrator, it’s heaps of fun. The magic wand or the Kasai Aura are great options because they can be used as an actual massager, as in for your shoulders, neck etc. What this means is that you won’t have the guilt, embarrassment or pressure of having it around. You’ll probably still want to keep it hidden though.
The best female masturbation techniques and tips
- Remember, every woman’s different and there’s no ‘correct’ way of masturbating
- Relax
- Exploring yourself in a comfortable setting
- Don’t try to reach orgasm, just let yourself feel good
- Don’t just focus on the “go too” areas – explore your breasts, legs, thighs
- After you’ve got yourself in the right mood, use a vibrator if you have to, it will relieve the pressure of performing and it will relieve all types of other pressure…
- Tackle the g-spot – The g-spot is located a few inches inside on the front wall of your vagina. Only move onto the g-spot once you’re comfortable. If you’re a beginner just focus on the clitoris to start off with. If you’re new to the g-spot and need a little help, see my tips down the page.
- Remember, it’s common to not reach the point of orgasm the first few times you try, but don’t feel disheartened, just enjoy yourself and the orgasm will come
Having trouble with the g-spot?
So you’re comfortable with reaching orgasm through your clitoris but want to expand your horizons. You can either try stimulating your g-spot, or you can try to stimulate your clitoris and g-spot at the same time. Many women have issues with the g-spot. It’s a bit of an enigma. The easiest way to start exploring your g-spot is with a vibrator designed for hitting the g-spot. So many women tell me that they have issues with using their finger/s to hit the g-spot. Using a vibrator will take all the pressure off because all you have to do is to relax…
So should you use a vibrator that’s specifically designed for the g-spot:
Or should you use a vibrator that is designed for the g-spot and clitoris like:
I highly recommend the Utimi because by stimulating the clitoris and the g-spot at the same time, it takes the pressure off orgasming through your g-spot because you’ll orgasm through your clitoris. It allows you to get used to stimulating your g-spot without any performance anxiety. Once you’ve got used to stimulating your g-spot and if you find that you orgasm solely through your clitoris and not through your g-spot using the Utimi and want to try orgasming just from the g-spot, try the Lelo Mona 2. That doesn’t mean the Utimi will be in the drawer gathering dust because stimulating both the g-spot and the clitoris at the same time is just heaven.
Variety is the spice of life!
There are three main types of vibrators:
- Clitoris – Read my review on the Doc Johnson Pocket Rocket Plus
- G-spot – Read my review on the Lelo Mona 2
- Clitoris and g-spot – Read my review on the Rabbit Habit
When you start off, just start off focusing on the clitoris. As you get used to it and want to explore, you can try the g-spot and tackling both the clitoris and g-spot at the same time. Personally, I just love variety. I love that sometimes I want to focus on my clitoris. Sometimes I love to just focus on my g-spot. And sometimes I like to focus on both areas. By having different options on how I masturbate I can keep things fresh and it’s oh so fabulous.
Masturbation Misconceptions
Female masturbation is still a somewhat taboo subject amongst many women. Even in this sexual revolution where it’s frequently mentioned on t.v. (think Sex And The City), in songs and movies, it’s still not a common subject for discussion. It’s a generally accepted fact that men masturbate but since many women don’t talk about or discuss it, it’s generally assumed that they don’t.
Many women in a relationship don’t masturbate because they believe that their sexual activities with their partner should be enough to satisfy their sexual need. In reality many of a woman’s sexual needs are not satisfied by their partner. It’s important for women to understand that, whether they’re in a relationship or not, it’s perfectly normal to masturbate.
It’s a common held belief that the majority of women are simply less sexual than men. This is simply not true. Society has instilled in us this idea of openly sexual women being outcasts and something to be ashamed of which leaves many women feeling they should not be openly sexual or have strong sexual desires.
Why Should I Masturbate?
Quite simply – Because it feels good! Regardless of whether a woman has a strong desire for sex she should still enjoy being able to give herself pleasure. It’s perfectly natural for a woman to pleasure herself as often as she desires. Masturbation does not have to end in orgasm to be pleasurable and can be nothing more than fooling around just because it feels nice.
In any relationship there will be times when a partner is not available for sex, whether they’re away or just not in the mood. It’s quite normal for couples to have different levels of sexual desire. Most women have probably masturbated while they have a sexual partner, often secretively in the shower, but masturbation is not something to be ashamed of.
How can a woman expect to educate her partner on what she likes sexually if she doesn’t know herself? Learning about your body and passing that on to your partner can be one of the most sexually rewarding experiences you have – for both of you.
Female Masturbation Techniques
There are countless ways women can masturbate. The most common point of stimulation is the clitoris. Though it’s not uncommon for vaginal penetration, g-spot stimulation, nipple stimulation, anal stimulation, or a combination of the above.
Some women hear that others masturbate to orgasm using one particular way and think that they should be able to do the same. Every woman’s different and there’s no ‘correct’ way of masturbating, only what feels good to you.
It’s important to experiment with different techniques to find what works best for you. It should be fun and exciting exploring new techniques, whatever they are.
Masturbation Tips & Advice
Your First Time
For your first time exploring yourself it’s important to be in a comfortable setting. Caress your naked body all over – Explore your breasts, legs, thighs. Cup your vulva in your hands and stimulate yourself. Don’t try to reach orgasm, just let yourself feel good. It’s not uncommon to feel tense your first time out but it’s important to try and stay relaxed. Breath deeply. The goal of this is not to have an orgasm but to feel comfortable and relaxed while making yourself feel good.
Once you become more comfortable exploring your body you can try more direct stimulation. Slip your fingers between your labia and let them slide up to the top of your vulva and gently caress your clitoris up and down. Insert a finger into your vagina or maybe two.
It’s common to not reach the point of orgasm the first few times you try, but don’t feel disheartened, just enjoy yourself and the orgasm will come.
Clitoral Stimulation
You can use your hands and fingers to stimulate your clitoris. Rub, stroke, caress, the clitoris with your fingers. Direct stimulation of the clitoris may be too intense so it may be necessary to do so through your clitoral hood or through a layer of clothing. Find what works for you.
Clitoral stimulation is also commonly practiced with clitoral vibrators and can provide a much greater sensation than using your fingers alone.
G-Spot Stimulation
Often it’s easiest to find and stimulate the g-spot with the use of a g-spot vibrator or dildo. The g-spot is located a few inches inside on the front wall of your vagina. You will know when you’ve found it as stimulating it should give you a greater sense of arousal.
Sex Toys
Vibrators can be used for clitoral, g-spot, vaginal or anal stimulation. Depending on your preference there are a wide range of sex toys available for all different kinds of uses. It’s best to read some reviews of sex toys before making a purchase decision so you can better decide which one is right for you. If you’re knew to vibrators, start off with the classic Doc Johnson Original Pocket Rocket Vibrator.
Ultimately…
…there’s no correct way to masturbate or normal amount of times to be doing it. What’s important is that you feel comfortable and enjoy the pleasure it brings you.